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Saving Private Chum Chum/Transcript
opens up showing a diagonal view of the school. Clock ticking is heard in the background. We cut to a close-up of the classroom clock, then an overview of a class of bored students. Hank is not there yet. On F&C, who are waiting impatiently. Chum Chum tugs on his lip while Fanboy looks around Fanboy: back and forth Uh, has anyone seen Mr. Mufflin? reply as we see Hank's desk while crickets chirp in the background Chum Chum: Maybe he accidently locked himself in his truck again. Fanboy: points Ah! the door opens, and Hank walks in followed by smoke. He is wearing dark shades. He turns to the students Everyone: Gah! Hank: forward with his arms out Just gotta find my desk. into a coat rack Ag! Ee! over a trash can Eh! Fanboy: Uh, Mr. Mufflin? Are you okay? Hank: himself up while holding the blackboard Oh, I'm gonna be. As you may not have known, I've suffered from poor vision, but I just got laser eye surgery from that discount medical man from out at the docks. Now, I am gonna see every last little thing you monsters get up to! to sit down in his chair, but flops to the ground Chair's lower than I remembered. Fanboy: gasp Mr. Mufflin can't see! Chum Chum: everyone You know what that means! opens their desks and takes out handfuls of toys Everyone: TOYS! Yo: out Scampers and plays with him Hahahaha! Hm! Ooh! Hehe. Kyle: his Lil' Warlock Kit Huzzah! Toys! Fankylechum: a pair of spy goggles Free day! Free day! Chase! Duke: a skateboard up a ramp in the background Whoa! Whoa! Wahoo! Chris Chuggy/Michael Johnson: with ninjas Hi-ya! Hehe! Oohoo! F&C's desks, F&C are digging around for toys Fanboy: Toys, toys, toys! Chum Chum: Toys, toys, dig toys! get out of their desks, holding a yo-yo and paddle ball respectively Fanboy: Okay, Chum Chum. Here comes a yo-yo blast! out yo-yo, but misses him Chum Chum: Oh, yeah? Taste my paddle ball fury! Hi-ya! out and releases the ball out, but it comes back and hits himself instead. He flops to the ground Fanboy: pause Ah, hahaha! Chum Chum: Ha ha! Hank. His watch beeps and he turns it off Hank: Ah, I can finally take off these sunglasses. off glasses. His eyes repeatedly dilate and shrink. He suddenly hears laughter from the kids Hmm? perspective. For a moment, the screen is blurry, then it gets clear to show everyone playing with toys. Yo is seen playing with Scampers. Duke is seen plonking a wheel on his skateboard. Chuggy is seen banging his ninjas together. Hank is furious Hank: TOYS?!?!? the kids Great Caesar's go-cart! You all know the rules! Yo, playing with Scampers. Hank takes him out of Yo's hands Yo: gasp Hank: NO TOYS IN CLASS! Yo: frantic Scampers! Kyle, playing with his Lil' Warlock Kit. Hank pops up from the little cauldron Kyle: gasp Hank: the toy wand Give me that toy stick. back into the cauldron, which disappears Kyle: Oh. Hank: Chuggy and Michael's ninjas No toys. from a desk and takes Fankylechum's goggles No toys. Lupe: and sings a circus tune Hank: the juggling toys, but hands back the axe Oh, not a toy. Knock yourself out. and Chum Chum peek behind Chum Chum's open desk of toys, moaning and quivering Hank: Ah. a firetruck Get back here, you toy! Fanboy: Our toys! We got to hide them. Chum Chum: bonked by Fanboy's yo-yo Yipe. puts a hump of toys in his desk and struggles to close it Fanboy: grunting Hurry, hurry, hurry! close it, but a ball flies out. It hits the blackboard, then the celing fan, and flies right into Chum Chum's mouth, knocking him back Fanboy: Ball! Chum flies all over the classroom, Hank notices him Hank: Ooh! Chum hits Fanboy, knocking him to the ground Fanboy: Are you okay? Chum Chum, letting out squeaks. He is unable to talk, due to the ball stuck in his throat Ah! Don't worry, buddy, I'll get it out. Chum Chum on the floor, just in time to see Hank angry at him Hank: Didn't you hear what I said? Fanboy: Toys in class? Uhh, you don't have to tell us. We frown on that sort of thing. Don't we, Chum Chum? and squeaks Chum Chum Hank: Then what's that you're holding? Fanboy: Huh? This is Chum Chum. He's been in your grade for the last five years? Hank: sniffs Aha! Just as I suspected. Chum Chum and bounces him A toy! Fanboy: Huh? Chum Chum! Hank: him into the drawer with toys on his desk Boom, shacka-lacka! evily Don't worry. You'll all get your toys, at the end of the year! desk All but Fanboy: gasping Fanboy: whimpers Chum Chum. Hmm! Mmm-hmm! scene zooms to Fanboy's face, anger flashing in his eyes. The background behind him dissolves to the cafeteria. Pull out to show Fanboy standing on the table, and some of his friends are listening to his indignant speech Fanboy: Mr. Mufflin's gone too far this time, and I for one am not gonna stand for it! We're gonna show Mr. Mufflin we're not gonna take it anymore!! Who's with me? one responds. Coughing is heard in the background Lupe: They're just toys, we can get more. Fanboy: Forget the toys, my! Best! Friend is in that drawer! Yo: We all lost best friends. I lost my digital pet cat Scampers. out a Yamagutchi Isn't that right, New Scampers? Fanboy: You do realize that Chum Chum is in that desk. is petrified. The scene zooms to a close-up of Yo's face. She has Chum Chums in her eyes Yo: Chum Chum?!? On your feet, MAGGOTS! she says this, zoom out to show her in front of everyone else. Everyone on the bench stands up Fanboy: Uhh, thanks, Yo. does a military salute You heard her! If there's one thing we learned back in basic algebra: Leave no remainders! Lupe/Fankylechum/Kyle/Chris Chuggy/Duke: NO REMAINDERS!!! Fankylechum: And carry the 1? Fanboy: We're gonna carry the 1 back home. flag appears in the background behind the rescue team, playing patriotic music night, Russ empties a wastebasket. He looks around the room just before shutting the door and turning the light out. Fanboy comes out of a desk and looks back and forth Fanboy: whispering All clear. Chuggy, Michael, Duke and Yo all pop out of desks. Suddenly, something reaches Fanboy's ears as he gives a hand signal to close the desks and hide Everyone: gasp comes in, brushing his teeth and [[Hank's Brushing Song|singing]] Hank: Up, down, up, down, side, side, side Down, up, down, up, side, side, side then spits Fanboy: What's Mr. Mufflin still doing here? Hank: sighs Time for a little shut-eye. his desk revealing a bed Yo: Mr. Mufflin lives in his desk?!? Hank: pillow Egyptian cotton. Nothing better. Kyle: Now, what are we going to do? Fanboy: We'll wait him out. He's got to go to sleep sometime. desk time later... Chris Chuggy: snore Wah. snore Wah. Hank: Ha ha! has set up a cover to stop anyone from looking at him while he plays ninjas Your days of ninja-ing are over, 'cause I am Hank Mufflin, the human bat! screeching Duke: Those are our toys, man! And that man's playing with them, man! Yo: Nobody can take my Scampers! Fanboy: I know how hard it is to look at that. It tears you up inside. But we still got a man behind enemy lines. Think about what he's going through. we see Chum Chum in the desk playing with a paddle ball Fanboy: Now, if we're gonna see his little dog face again, we gotta get Mr. Mufflin away from that desk drawer. Communications! Yo: salutes Sir! Fanboy: And...Dutch! Lupe: salutes Si! Fanboy: We're gonna need a diversion. Now, privates Chowhound, Fresno, and Kyle! Come with me. leaves Kyle: I'd rather hope I'd be "Tex". Fanboy: Noted. All right, let's move out! the camera And ladies, stay frosty. sips Hank's desk... Hank: The human bat descends into the darkness! phone rings You've reached the desk of Hank Mufflin, what can I do you for? Lupe: Eh, hello? Is your refrigerator running? Hank: As a matter of fact, it is. Lupe: Then you better go catch it. Hank: Oh, no! the desk Oh, my lunch is in there! the door turns to Chuggy, Fankylechum and Kyle and gives them a signal to follow him to the desk. They have no clue what that meant Fanboy: Ugh! Follow me. follow him to the desk. Suddenly, a goat comes out Fanboy: AHH! G-g-g-g-g goat! into Kyle's arms and Chuggy catches the goat in his mouth Oh, whew. They say you never hear the goat that's got your name on it. I owe you one, Chowhound. goat bleats reach the desk at last Fanboy: It's showtime, Fresno. Let's see those safe cracking skills you learned stateside. cracks his knuckles, then after a few resists he opens the drawer Fankylechum: Ah! deeply I still got it. is holding a bag while Kyle digs through the drawer Kyle: That's everything. Fanboy: What? his head in the bag No, wait, it can't be. in the drawer Where's Chum Chum? We're not leaving without Chum Chum! Fankylechum: Sergeant, get down, please. spotlight shines on the wall. This is coming from a flashlight Hank is holding, along with Chum Chum in his other arm Hank: Did you hear that, Mr. Squeakles? Chum Chum The Night Monsters are coming again, just like Mommy said they would! Fanboy: gasp He's got Chum Chum! I'm going to get him. blocked by Chuggy Chris Chuggy: Wa! Fanboy: Don't tell me the odds, Chowhound! I'm not leaving without Chum Chum! Kyle: This is lunacy. We've all recovered our playthings. I say we cut our losses. to leave with the bag, but trips over a wastebasket. Hank turns around perspective. Because of his surgery, he sees Kyle as a strange creature with glowing yellow eyes, goat horns and a sea monster's tail Hank: Night Monster! Fanboy/Chris Chuggy/Fankylechum: gasp Kyle: pause I'm okay! ray blasts near his right foot AHH! What on earth was that?!? comes in and taps on his right eye, which moves to normal position Hank: Laser eyes, Night Monster! That's why I got the surgery! near Kyle's chest Kyle: AHHHH! running zaps the desk revealing Fanboy, Fankylechum and Chuggy Fanboy/Fankylechum/Chris Chuggy: AHHHH! Hank: Oh, there's plenty of this for all of you. Want some? Get some! zapping Fanboy: up to a fainted Kyle and carries him over his shoulder Fall back! Fall back! Hank: Yah! Fanboy: Whoa, whoa, falling back. trips over a desk wall the rest of the team set up. Kyle hits the ground, Fanboy hits him, Fankylechum hits them, and Chuggy hits them all, releasing the goat from his mouth Duke: We're in some pretty poop now, Sarge! Game over, man! Game over! Fanboy: Come on, troops. If we rush him, he can't blast all of us! Lupe: I say we leave. whispers to Michael, playing with her Yamagutchi Fanboy: So that's the way it's gonna be, huh? Well, I'll tell you what. a paddle ball and goggles from Chuggy and Fankylechum There's a kid out there who never gave up on me. And I'm not gonna give up on him! I'm coming for you, Chum Chum! the goggles and jumps out of the desk fort. He does a battle cry Lupe: He is so brave. continues to battle cry Hank: Die, monster boy! Fankylechum: We must help him. off the head of a Mechatech and throws it Company, fire! team begins to throw toys at Hank. Fanboy sings Ride of the Valkyries as he jumps toward Hank, while taking off his goggles. He slams the goggles onto Hank's eyes, then takes Chum Chum out of his arm. Hank screams and falls over. Fanboy does a tumble on the floor and holds Chum Chum up Fanboy: I got you, buddy! Chum Chum Everything's gonna be all right. Chum Chum a kiss on the cheek. Chum Chum points toward Hank off camera, who is laughing evily. He stands up and destroys the goggles Hank: Did you really think it would be that easy? laughing Fanboy: sadly I'm sorry, Chum Chum, I came up a little short this time. But I tell you, if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing. Chum Chum I squeak you too, Chum Chum. hugs Chum Chum so hard, the ball in his throat slides up and pops out of his mouth. It suddenly hits Hank, right in the eye sockets Hank: Ah! My eyes! to the ground My beautiful laser eyes! Ah! perspective. He slowly blinks as the kids surround him. Only their silhouettes are visable, but their eyes are seen clearly. The light turns on, revealing their images well Hank: Wait a minute, You're not monsters! You're my students trying to get your toys back. You monsters! away Chum Chum: I knew you'd save me, Fanboy! Fanboy: I didn't do it alone, Chum Chum, we did it alone. him up for everyone to see Victory! Everyone: Yay! Hank: evilly You may have won the battle, but I will win the war, for now I truly am Hank Mufflin, bat wings the human bat! kids stare at him You know, that medical van will do anything if you slip them an extra $20. then flies I'll be back! through the window. F&C watch him fly home into the moonlight And pages 28 through 30 in your algebra textbooks for Monday! laughing Fanboy: There flies a complicated man. continues to laugh as he flies away. Iris out, the episode is over. Category:Transcripts